When words do not suffice

There are times, even for a writer

when written words become empty signs

Times when a writer don’t want to write

cause there’s too much between the lines

Though most events in life can be referred

and all things can be named with a word

There are places in the soul

that are beyond letters and a writers control

The soundless language of the body and mind

the endless battle between head and heart

emotions that can never be defined

letterless battles, where words are torn apart

A state of mind where you’d rather sing

or splash on a canvas with dark coloring

But you cannot find the colors or the melody

So writing becomes your only therapy.

When half of your heart wants what you already got

and the other half what you never had

When you don’t know what to do or not

Cause what is for the best, when everything feels so bad?

Do you know what you have

or have what you want?

Should you cling to whatever you find

or keep up the endless haunt?

Sometimes we don’t know until everything is all gone

when bridges are burned, and offers withdrawn.

Are we just in love with the longing

the doubt, the torment, the wanting

or is there something better on the other side

why else, would we always want to stride?

I guess this is just what life is like

we cannot know, but only feel

Answers will never hit you like a strike

all we can do, is to be true and real

Who do we care about, who do we want to please

God, ourselves or the crowd?

Mostly number three brings us on our knees

though we want to make the former proud

I guess, sometimes we just have to trust

that what we feel is what to do

Cause in the end there is only dust

until then the one in charge is you

For me this last week shows

that the inner life of an artist

can be harder then any external lows

Whereas the harsh episodes of last week

was handled with surprising ease

this weeks inner tweak

had me twice as weak

But every torment is a lesson

again I learned and grew stronger

The journey has come to a conclusion

the torment is no longer.

Life 2.0 is one of Khrono’s blogs, and will be presented with new blogposts every week. Petter Egge is a former student from HiOA and journalist at Khrono.no. He has decided to do something quite different. This is his stories.

April 9th 2014: 
Chronicle #11: «The School of Life»

Life is a funny little thing. It is for sure a trembling rollercoaster, but also a splash of water in your face and missing ground under your feet. It has its ways – mysterious, inscrutable – of surprising me, not just when I thought I had it all together, but even more often when I’m already out of balance.

The whole chronicle #11 here.

April 2th 2014: 
Chronicle #10: «The Decennium»

From waking up scared of an earthquake, to not take notice at all. So: I’m happy to announce that I might already be a real Californian.

The whole chronicle #10 here.

Mars 25th 2014: 
Chronicle #9: «The Wake Up Call»

They say you’re not a real Californian until you no longer notice the earthquakes. This week started with something of a wake up call. As mentioned in previous posts, sleep is quite limited for me over here due to lack of time. That one night when I finally managed to enter deeply into those psychedelic lands of dreams at the right time, with no alarm set for the next morning – THE EARTH decided to shake me out of bed at 6:25 AM with a 4.4 magnitude earthquake.

The whole chronicle #9 here.

Mars 18th 2014: 
Chronicle #8: «So You Think You Can Act»

Do you know how to walk? No, you don’t. Can you sit, crawl, or lie down? No, you can’t.  You can’t even lift your arm up in front of you. I know you can’t believe it – neither could I. But every day here, I am proven wrong.

The whole chronicle #8 here.

Mars 11th 2014: 
Chronicle #7: «The walk of Shame»

Ever had the feeling that your duties seem to pass by like a super fast train and you just can’t catch up with it for the life of you?

The whole chronicle #7 here.

Mars 4th 2014: 
Chronicle #6: «Teaser»

I was a journalist, a gymnast and a musician. I had everything I needed – except what I wanted. Thats why I decided to quit my job, say goodbye to my friends and family, and leave for acting school in Hollywood. The Video presented in this blog is a small taste of what life has been like the first few weeks.

Here you can see the video-blog.

Feb. 25th 2014: 
Chronicle #5: «In a cold sweat»

For a guy who has lived all his life by the rules and routines of a gymnastics regime, there is no doubt that life here is a tad more divergent. Having nothing to do at one moment is just as shockingly unfamiliar as it is to run from a film shoot to my roommates’ baptism in the next. At any point earlier in my life, the degree of variation stretched from sleeping, through eating and practice, to toilet visits, school and back to sleep. The circle of life has definitely taken a new shape.

The whole chronicle #5 here.

Feb. 18th 2014: 
Chronicle #4: «The Proposal and the Valentine’s»

Real life, as we will know it the next eight months (though dreamy it may still seem to me), is about to blossom. As the hassle of settling down slowly dies out, challenges of school is coming to life, growing over the heads of its students.

The whole chronicle #4 here.

Feb. 11th 2014: 
Chronicle #3: «Life’s a like a box of chocolate»

As we still can’t seem to get friendly with our apartment (at least our rent), it took my roommate and me no more than three days to decide to move out again. Already stretching our comfort zone with one bedroom, we are now downgrading to NO bedroom.

The whole chronicle #3 here.

Feb. 8th 2014: 
Chronicle #2: Move-in Day and monologues

When gas, water, power and insurance companies got back in to business on Monday morning, Murphy’s law did the same; what could go wrong – well, you know. For the landlord to let us move in, they needed confirmation letters faxed from all of the above – which should be no problem, since we asked them all to do so when opening our new accounts. After half a day of waiting by an empty fax machine, we dared to call them back with a friendly reminder – only to discover that they’d forgotten all about us. When they eventually faxed it, only one name was on the paper – and we’d really prefer that both of us could move in. 

The whole chronicle #2 here.

Feb. 5th 2014: 
Chronicle #1: «I need a dollar, dollar is what I need»

Ok, just to make it clear right away: I am NOT a blogger. Since the dawn of the blogosphere, my prejudices have kept me far away from its kind. But as we all know, the first unwritten rule of a struggling actor in Hollywood is that «Everyone must accept some kind of prostitution in order to survive up until the big breakthrough.» So, I could have fulfilled the stereotype of waiting tables between my auditions, or I could do a «Sylvester Stallone» – but instead I am now spreading trivialities about my still-to-be famous self. Oh, the irony.

The whole chronicle #1 here.