So You Think You Can Act

Do you know how to walk? No, you don’t. Can you sit, crawl, or lie down? No, you can’t.  You can’t even lift your arm up in front of you. I know you can’t believe it – neither could I. But every day here, I am proven wrong.

Ever since school started, we have been practicing several hours every week how to walk, how to stand up, sit down, look at something or someone, or even to stand still and do nothing. As stupid as you probably think it sounds, you can at least double it and you have my frustration. I have done backflips since I was six years old, and they are telling me I can’t even walk?

As we are not advancing from the stage of walking, or even from just plain breathing, the stupidity becomes just a little too clear for someone who’s former life was all about efficiency, progress and competition;  «We’re just wasting our time and money every second in these classes – we gotta get up and act, right?!» (quote: Petter Egge). Still, our teachers, as well as our readings, insist that this is strictly necessary. And believe it or not – slowly, my frustration this week was starting to be replaced by understanding.

Maybe I’m being brainwashed – but they’re right. Why can everyone recognize bad acting? Because it doesn’t seem real. When we feel other people’s eyes on us, we get conscious about what we do and the way we move – and change it unconsciously. That’s why none of us can walk or even stand still on a stage or in front of a camera without appearing awkward or false. And if I can’t seem real when doing something so simple, then how can I convince anyone that I’m a murderer, or even just sad or happy?

For the same reason we are now spending unspeakable hours lying on the floor, breathing, or at best lifting an arm up in front of us. Because, according to Stanislavski (the God of modern acting technique), the cure for this awkwardness that appears when we act is total relaxation. I never thought I would say this, but that is FREAKIN’ HARD. I really can’t lift my arm without tensing a number of muscles I don’t need. Considering the school tuition here, one might say these classes are awfully expensive relaxation (and one wouldn’t be wrong), but fear thy not – we have real school as well.

«What year was the hot dog invented?» I didn’t know that either, so I lost an important point on the theoretical test this week (yup, the question is a direct quote). Ok, I’ll admit that they’re really stretching the term «real school» here – the transition from UC Berkeley is, let’s say – significant.

I prepared myself with real reading this time, planning to make up for the cheating last week. I could’ve lectured about the Warner Brothers, Georges Meliés or the «mis-en-scene» – but I guess I have to adapt to the fact that this is a «creative environment». And that includes the teachers. 

In such an environment, I can’t help but asking myself sometimes what this all is about to do with me. Not only am I learning to walk all over again, but I find it a little strange that I actually no longer find it strange to be on a scene with no shirt on, undressing, while fighting with a classmate who is supposedly my wife – in front of the rest of the class and our teacher.

But the thing is – I love it. Not particularly the public undressing, but what it actually means; learning how to tell your story to an audience.

And I am beginning to understand much deeper what this acting thing is all about. Why we have these yoga classes, learning to breathe and meditate, to walk and speak. Acting is really not about acting at all. It is about learning how to get rid of the acting - and be real. To do that you must truly be in the moment. And to do that, you must be absolutely free and relaxed. And then of course, it doesn’t hurt with a beautiful day on the beach.

Life 2.0 is Khrono’s new blog, and will be presented with new blogposts every week. Petter Egge is a former student from HiOA and journalist at Khrono. He has decided to do something quit different. This is his stories.

Mars 11th 2014: 
Chronicle #7: «The walk of Shame»

Ever had the feeling that your duties seem to pass by like a super fast train and you just can’t catch up with it for the life of you?

The whole chronicle #7 here.

Mars 4th 2014: 
Chronicle #6: «Teaser»

I was a journalist, a gymnast and a musician. I had everything I needed – except what I wanted. Thats why I decided to quit my job, say goodbye to my friends and family, and leave for acting school in Hollywood. The Video presented in this blog is a small taste of what life has been like the first few weeks.

Here you can see the video-blog.

Feb. 25th 2014: 
Chronicle #5: «In a cold sweat»

For a guy who has lived all his life by the rules and routines of a gymnastics regime, there is no doubt that life here is a tad more divergent. Having nothing to do at one moment is just as shockingly unfamiliar as it is to run from a film shoot to my roommates’ baptism in the next. At any point earlier in my life, the degree of variation stretched from sleeping, through eating and practice, to toilet visits, school and back to sleep. The circle of life has definitely taken a new shape.

The whole chronicle #5 here.

Feb. 18th 2014: 
Chronicle #4: «The Proposal and the Valentine’s»

Real life, as we will know it the next eight months (though dreamy it may still seem to me), is about to blossom. As the hassle of settling down slowly dies out, challenges of school is coming to life, growing over the heads of its students.

The whole chronicle #4 here.

Feb. 11th 2014: 
Chronicle #3: «Life’s a like a box of chocolate»

As we still can’t seem to get friendly with our apartment (at least our rent), it took my roommate and me no more than three days to decide to move out again. Already stretching our comfort zone with one bedroom, we are now downgrading to NO bedroom.

The whole chronicle #3 here.

Feb. 8th 2014: 
Chronicle #2: Move-in Day and monologues

When gas, water, power and insurance companies got back in to business on Monday morning, Murphy’s law did the same; what could go wrong – well, you know. For the landlord to let us move in, they needed confirmation letters faxed from all of the above – which should be no problem, since we asked them all to do so when opening our new accounts. After half a day of waiting by an empty fax machine, we dared to call them back with a friendly reminder – only to discover that they’d forgotten all about us. When they eventually faxed it, only one name was on the paper – and we’d really prefer that both of us could move in. 

The whole chronicle #2 here.

Feb. 5th 2014: 
Chronicle #1: «I need a dollar, dollar is what I need»

Ok, just to make it clear right away: I am NOT a blogger. Since the dawn of the blogosphere, my prejudices have kept me far away from its kind. But as we all know, the first unwritten rule of a struggling actor in Hollywood is that «Everyone must accept some kind of prostitution in order to survive up until the big breakthrough.» So, I could have fulfilled the stereotype of waiting tables between my auditions, or I could do a «Sylvester Stallone» – but instead I am now spreading trivialities about my still-to-be famous self. Oh, the irony.

The whole chronicle #1 here.